Red panda's ramblings

  Hey, Panda Pack! So, if you didn't know, I enjoy writing fan fictions just as much as any other person like me does. I don't usually share mine though because... well, they aren't very good. But today is different. I'm announcing my first published fan fiction, a Vocaloid fan fiction based off of the song "Mesmerizer!" The fan fiction is called "Mesmerized Mindset," and the publishing date? Your guess is as good as mine. I decided to put a neat little spin on the lore of the song and, instead of Miku and Teto actually getting hypnotized by an unnamed mesmerizer, Teto slowly goes insane! You'll see. I'm hoping to publish the whole thing as one big post here on Red Panda's Ramblings rather than splitting it up. Yes, suspense is great, but if I try to do it in different posts, I'll most likely forget about it until like three years later. The fan fiction will have themes of deteriorating mental health, but I'll try to portray it in...

DISCLAIMER: Don't take any of this as real psychological science. This is just my personal observation of my own behavior.  So, I've noticed a very strange behavioral pattern within myself. If you weren't aware, I'm a very empathetic person. I cry when I hear sad stories from real-life people or characters in video games (such as the backstory of Diluc and Kaeya from Genshin Impact), and it's the reason I study phobias and why I want to become a musical psychiatrist. Despite all this, I have an almost sadistic love for torturing and killing insects. I intentionally drown ants, mosquitoes, flies, and other insects just to see them grow weaker and weaker until they finally lay still, or I'll hit a spider with my shoe even long after it's dead (yes, I know spiders aren't insects). I lack empathy for all insects, even the ones that help the environment. I don't even react when I see butterflies get eaten by predators. I purely want to see insects suffer....