Odd Behavior

DISCLAIMER: Don't take any of this as real psychological science. This is just my personal observation of my own behavior.

 So, I've noticed a very strange behavioral pattern within myself. If you weren't aware, I'm a very empathetic person. I cry when I hear sad stories from real-life people or characters in video games (such as the backstory of Diluc and Kaeya from Genshin Impact), and it's the reason I study phobias and why I want to become a musical psychiatrist.

Despite all this, I have an almost sadistic love for torturing and killing insects. I intentionally drown ants, mosquitoes, flies, and other insects just to see them grow weaker and weaker until they finally lay still, or I'll hit a spider with my shoe even long after it's dead (yes, I know spiders aren't insects). I lack empathy for all insects, even the ones that help the environment. I don't even react when I see butterflies get eaten by predators. I purely want to see insects suffer.

Does anyone else do this? I find it very odd that someone who cares for almost every animal could be so heartless when it comes to insects (insects are animals too, believe it or not).

What I find even more strange is that I was deathly afraid of all the insects that fly only a week ago. I would run away any time a fly bussed past my head, and it even led to a fear of anything that made a buzzing sound. Yet, somehow, this fear has developed into a psychopathic love of causing them harm.

I'm officially coining the term "Entomopsycopathy" because this behavior, as I mentioned before, is described (by me) as a lack of empathy for insects.

(Entomopsycopathy is not a real behavioral disorder, it's a term I made up)